Saving A Marital Relationship After An Affair

Quitting is not a method to save your marriage and make it work.  Both spouses have a responsibility to make the marital relationship strong and to assist each other on every step of the way.  The responsibility you took when you married should be supported even at the worst times including an affair.  It best to work at saving a marriage before it ever breaks down.  Below are some great tips that you should find helpful in saving a marriage after an affair.

Relationship Tips After An Affair

Remember that you are a good person, well loved and appreciated by your family, and that an affair can happen to just about anyone.

While your marriage is in turmoil from an affair, there are still other areas of your life in which you must continue to function.  It is best to bear in mind that you are (ideally) managing to be a great parent, efficient at your work, an assistance to your friends and a productive member of society.  Remember that you are a good person, well loved and appreciated by your family, and that an affair can happen to just about anyone.  Concentrate on people and tasks that “build you up.”  You are going to need to regain your self-confidence before you can successfully function as a couple trying to save a marital relationship after an affair.

Tips For The Cheated Upon Spouse

If you’re the spouse who was cheated on, this is going to be a difficult step for you.  Yes, your partner was the one that hurt you. Yes, you really feel an amazing sense of pain.  Yet if you’re dedicated to saving your marriage, my insight to you is to find a way to forgive your partner.  This is exactly how the healing and the necessary repair can start, not just in your relationship but additionally in both of you.  Without true forgiveness, you’re likely to relive the pain of the affair again and again throughout your life.  I have actually seen couples make the decision to remain in a marital relationship after an affair; however, they fail to forgive the dishonest partner (and themselves) and so they continue to suffer.  Believe me, you don’t want to do this.

An outside the box technique is to strip back the lies and smokescreens and really pinpoint what the concerns are in your marriage.  The majority of people find that the real concerns are not as bad as either suspects.  This method identifies precisely what each of you need for yourself and to get your marriage back on the right track.

If you are having problems with feelings of unforgiveness, bitterness, pain, temper, etc, you might consider asking yourself if you are doing your part in saving the marital relationship.  Infidelity does not ruin a marriage.  If both partners are willing to move forward and heal the brokenness, the marriage can be saved even after an affair.  Both partners need to be honest with themselves and each other regarding whether they are willing to continue.

People do just commit stupid blunders like an affair during their life.  Now you should explore the best ways to forgive your spouse after they had an affair.  There ought to always be a second and perhaps even a third chance, if the relationship is worth it.  You must decide if it is worth it to save your marriage.  You did commit to marriage through thick and thin.  Your marriage is being tested, as are you.  This is the moment to show your worth as a person and honestly evaluate the situation.  If it is possible, you should offer forgiveness and reconciliation.  But that requires that your spouse is seeking forgiveness and reconciliation.  There is no hope unless both of you are committed to a new and changed relationship.

Tips For the Spouse Who Cheated

Saving A MarriageIf you are the partner who had the affair, this is going to be one more challenging step to take.  You must confess to the event and admit how wrong you were.  You must take responsibility for what happened.  But if you’ve dedicated yourself to saving your marriage, you’re going to need to apologize for the affair.  Without it, exactly how can you expect your spouse to forgive you?  Exactly how can you expect your relationship to heal without it?  When you request forgiveness, your spouse has to believe that you are (a) serious, and (b) that you’re sorry for what you have done.  You must be comfortable accepting that you were wrong.  Allow your partner know that despite the affair, you really do love them and that you will do whatever it takes to get past this.


J.J. Heim

With a Ph.D. in ethics and a long-time educator, J.J. has for the past ten years created websites providing valuable information and honest reviews of products.

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